"I told him I like spicy food. I don't know why I said such a stupid thing.
It's a complete lie. I add dollop of yogurt after dollop of yogurt. Nothing doing.
Each time it's the same: my taste buds shrivel up and die, my skin goes beet red,
my eyes well up with tears, my head feels like a house on fire,
and my digestive tract starts to twist and groan in agony like a boa constrictor
that has swallowed a lawn mower."